Pamela Simmons Counseling

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice, and because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and desires.

R.D. Laing

If we are in a relationship, our significant others will point out what we fail to notice. That is the value in relationships. Most people find it annoying. Yet, it is a gift to find out what we fail to notice in ourselves, so we can do something about it.

We have potential to grow into the person we are meant to be, when we can finally see the areas that need growth and change. 

If we have had trauma in our lives, we will continue to bond with those who will help us repeat the trauma. It’s called the betrayal bond. We also tend to bond with the familiar. If chaos is a norm in our family, then we’ll find relationships that mimic the chaos.

So, noticing the patterns provides an opportunity to move in a different direction.